When Christmas Feels Like Too Much: A Guide to Looking After Yourself This December

As a counsellor, the stressful side of Christmas is something that I’ve noticed regularly comes up as a theme, often from as early as September, as the pressure to create the “perfect” Christmas can lead to feelings of overwhelm, anxiety and dread.   Bereavement, loneliness, family tensions or financial worries, can also make this time of year feel less than joyful.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. It’s completely normal to feel this way during such a busy time and simply acknowledging it can be the first step toward feeling lighter.

Let Go of Perfection

One of the main ways Christmas can feel overwhelming is through the pressure to create the “perfect” time. It’s easy to get caught up in a long list of things you think you should do, rather than focusing on what truly matters to you.

Take a moment to ask yourself: “What’s really important to me this Christmas?” There may be some traditions that you genuinely enjoy, such as attending a carol service, watching a favourite festive film, or baking mince pies, whereas others like sending Christmas cards or hosting large gatherings, might feel more like a chore. Focusing on what you love and letting go of the things that you don’t enjoy can help to remove some of the pressure.

Create Boundaries and Learn to Say No

The festive season often comes with an increase in demands; more social invitations, family obligations, and work deadlines. It’s okay to say no to some (if not all) of them.

Turning down invitations or letting go of obligations can feel uncomfortable at first, especially when it comes to family or friends. However, it’s about protecting your time and energy and giving yourself more space to breathe.

Prioritise Self-Care

With late nights and busy days, it’s easy to let self-care routines slip during the festive period. However, rather than seeing self-care as another thing to “do”, it can help to think of it as something to gently weave into your days. Here are some simple, realistic ideas you can dip into throughout December:

• Start with a quiet moment.

Taking a moment to pause can help when everything feels rushed. Write it down, talk it through, or simply stop and breathe – it can be really grounding to give yourself space to notice how you’re feeling.

• Make time to move.

This doesn’t necessarily mean going to the gym or doing a workout. A walk, some gentle stretches or dancing around the kitchen can all lift your mood.

• But don’t forget the importance of rest.

Rest is an important part of self-care, especially during busy times. Even small moments of rest can recharge your energy and help you feel more balanced. It could be a short break during the day, a warm bath in the evening, or simply putting your feet up to read or watch your favourite film.

Kitkat has mastered the art of resting!

• Be present

We can spend a lot of time thinking about the past, replaying events and conversations, or worrying about the future, preparing for the worst to happen, rather than being present in the moment. One way to connect with the here and now is to use your senses and notice what you can see, hear, feel, smell or taste.

• Practise Gratitude

Take a moment to write down three things you’re grateful for. It might be friends or family, something you’ve achieved, or even simply that you’ve made it through the year. Focusing on these moments can shift your perspective, calm your mind, and remind you of the positives, even in stressful times.

• Be kind to yourself

Being kind to yourself is more than eating well and exercising - it's also about cultivating self-compassion. Notice how you speak to yourself – are the words that you use kind and supportive, or harsh and critical?

Our inner dialogue often has a harsh tone to it and may include judgmental language such as “should”. Instead, practise talking to yourself in the same way you would speak to a friend, as we often show more compassion towards others. Changing this habit takes practice, but a few simple swaps can help:

·         “I’m so bad at this” → “I’m learning, and that’s okay.”

·         “I should be doing more” → “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”

·         “Why do I always mess up?” → “It’s normal to make mistakes.”

• And finally make it playful!

A self-care bingo card can bring a bit of fun into the mix. You can create one using the ideas above or design your own. Complete it in a day, a week, or whenever feels right for you. Here are some other ideas that you could include:

        Enjoy a Good Meal

        Have a Spa Day at Home

      Do a Digital Detox

        Listen to a guided meditation

        Make a playlist of your favourite songs

I’ll be taking some time off over the Christmas period, and so the office will be closed from Monday 22^nd December 2025 to Friday 2 January 2026 (inclusive). I hope you find time to rest, recharge, and enjoy a few of these self-care tips.

Wishing you a Happy Christmas and a joyful, peaceful start to 2026!